OUTRAGEOUS ADVERTISING CLAIMS

Various magazines - 1947-1959

 

 

 

 

 

Does this make sense on certain days? Gals in-the-know take certain days in their stride, but - "fierce fun" doesn't make sense. Why jolt your innards? (There's always the merry-go-round!) Choosing milder amusements is playing safe. Like choosing Kotex. You see, you get extra protection from that exclusive safety center of Kotex. And that comfortable Kotex Wonderform Belt lets you bend freely because it's elastic - snug-fitting - non-binding. For confidence that's positively supersonic, try Kotex and Kotex belts!

 

1947

 

 

 

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND SAY, "YES!"

 

Tell him what an Alexander Smith Stay Modern carpet offers you for the price of a couple of bus fares a day. FREE! Convincer Kit, practically guaranteed to make your husband say yes. Contains complete "we need new carpet" campaign, including booklet telling how to stretch your carpet dollar.

 

1955

 

 

A SMART GIRL, MY WIFE....

 

When she asked me to buy some Clippers, I was surprised how inexpensive they were and, after fitting them in a jiffy, how smart they looked, too! Now my wife finds stair cleaning almost a pleasure - for Clippers harbor no dust, can't work out of position, the carpet's held firmly and moving it to save wear is easy....

 

1955

 

 

 

NO MORE BALD HEADS

 

....when our vacuum cap is used a few minutes daily. The vacuum cap is an appliance that draws the blood to the hair roots and starts a new healthy crop of hair. It stops dandruff, stops the hair from falling out. No drugs used. Sent on free trial. Free catalogues also sent on slimming foam wonder bath crystals and amazing denture plastic Fit-Rite. On application dentures fit anew during life of denture. Develop a beautiful figure by increasing the bust with Charm Bust gentle pulsavator.

 

1956

 

 

 

DRINK HABIT DESTROYED

 

Thousands of homes ruined by drink have been made happy again by Eucrasy. All desire for alcohol is destroyed. Guaranteed harmless, tasteless, can be given secretly or voluntarily. State which is wanted.

 

1956

 

 

 

ELIMINATE THAT DOUBLE CHIN

 

A new way for more beauty. 15 minutes daily while reading or working will eliminate a double chin, sagging throat lines, hanging cheeks and wrinkled neck. Made of highly elastic smooth rubber supported by 4 adjustable headbands; fits every chin and is very simple to slip on.

 

1959

 

 

 

A THREAT TO LOVELINESS

HOW MANY GERMS ON YOUR SCALP RIGHT NOW?

 

As a precaution against infectious dandruff make Listerine part of regular hair care. It's getting to be a delightful "must" with countless fastidious women. And for a very good reason. Anyone can catch infectious dandruff. Thousands do, often without being aware of it. Those little telltale flakes on hair or dress may be a warning!

 

Why not be on your guard against an infected scalp and its ugly flakes and scales that can mar the shining beauty of your hair? Try the delightful Listerine "bath" along with every shampoo. It kills millions of the dreaded "bottle bacillus" germs that many dermatologists point to as a causative agent of this distressing condition.

 

Remember, Listerine is the same safe, reliable many-purpose antiseptic that has been a household stand-by for 3 generations. Made by pioneers in Oral Hygiene and proved effective in more than 60 years of day-in day-out use!

 

PS. While you're about it, as a precaution against infection, wash combs and brushes....then douse thoroughly with Listerine to kill lurking "bottle bacillus".

 

1947

 

 

 

FIVE DROPS AND YOUR MAN IS WON!

 

Yes! The zesty flavor of Frank's Red Hot Sauce wins his taste every time! Give a lift to many a dish with this choice blend of Louisiana peppers and spices.

 

FREE! 32 Man-favorite recipes in New Booklet "The Way to Your Man's Heart". Write for a copy today.

 

1947

 

 

Anyone on your list will enjoy a gift of CHEESE.

 

1955

 

 

 

SLIM AT WILL

 

Wash away excess fat - any part of the body. Reduce arms, legs, hips - any part - in your bath, with Dr. Paul Bouchaud's Flesh-Reducing Soap. Get, and stay, smart and slim by this safe, easy home method, obtainable only from Madame B. Eugene, French hair and skin specialist.

 

1956

 

 

 

 

THE PAINS OF RHEUMATISM GONE!

 

Rheumatic pain is often caused by impurities which are allowed to collect in the system instead of being regularly expelled. Ordinary laxatives cannot always clear the system effectively because they act in only one way. Kruschen acts in two ways - aperient and duretic - flushing away the pain-causing impurities through both natural channels.

 

Mrs. E.L.M. writes: "I'm nearly 80 and have never had a headache or rheumatic pain since I started taking Kruschen over 60 years ago. My doctor says I'm in wonderful condition for my age. A lot of credit is due to Kruschen."

 

1958

 

 

 

Jacinth was miserable....so miserable she didn't know what to do. Only six weeks ago they'd moved into their very own home - the dream house they'd hunted for so long. Neat and complete, twinkling with fresh paint and new furniture.

 

And now, so soon, something had gone dreadfully wrong. Last night they'd had an awful quarrel because Derek had taken to coming home later and later from work - almost as if he didn't want to come home. Why, he'd even said he wished they were still living with her parents....how could he....?

 

The telephone! Perhaps that was him now...."Oh, it's you, Mother....Oh Mummy, I'm so unhappy....I didn't want to tell you, but I just can't help it...." Jacinth sobbed out her story.

 

"There, there, my pet....I don't think it's anything really serious. But, darling, I did notice when I came to tea on Wednesday that your house wasn't as fresh and sweet as it should be. Men notice these things, you know, even if they don't realize it....Perhaps Derek....Listen, I'll tell you what we'll do...."

 

That afternoon, Jacinth and her mother worked hard. Her mother had brought a bottle of ZAL disinfectant, and they put some in the sink, and the drains, and in the water they washed the paint and floors with.

 

"You see, darling," said her mother, "a fresh house with fresh paint and new furniture won't stay fresh and smell sweet without ZAL. Germs spread quickly and that means smells. ZAL's so purifying - it's a wonderful disinfectant and it kills germs at once and leaves the scent of real pines all over the house. I always use ZAL - haven't you noticed? I'll leave you the bottle."

 

A few days later, Derek, who was always home early now, remarked:

 

"I can't think why I said I'd like to be back at your mother's darling. She's a dear, and it was fun being there, but there's nothing like having one's own home to come back to - and you do keep it so fresh and lovely."

 

Jacinth just kissed him, smiled to herself, and glanced towards the kitchen, where ZAL had a proud position on the shelf.

 

1955

 

 

 

INSECURITY IS WOMAN'S GREATEST ENEMY

 

Every woman has a natural right to security and opportunities for happiness for herself and her children. But this Australian ideal has never been in greater danger than it is today. The forces of international Communism aim to destroy our security and our freedom. If we are not strong enough as a nation to resist their attempts, the day may come when family life as we know it will be a thing of the past in Australia.

 

The woman of Australia look to their men to keep this country secure. Fit men of military age, who would immediately volunteer if a world war were to come overnight, have an opportunity to train now in their spare time by joining The Citizen Military Forces. It involves only 14 days' camp each year plus some nighttime training parades - a small price to pay for security.

 

Australia asks you to give your support and encouragement to your husband, your son, your fiancé, to any man of military age who is prepared to give up some of his leisure to train in the C.M.F. He is proving himself a loyal Australian.

 

YOU CAN BE PROUD OF THE MAN

WHO IS READY TO DEFEND YOU

 

1950s

 

 

 

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THIS RIDE, MOM!"

 

BABY:  This may not be any joy ride for you, Mom - now that you're being me for a day!

 

MOM:  Joy ride! I should say it isn't! Wriggling around in these straps makes my skin so uncomfortable I could howl!

 

BABY:  I hoped you'd get to see it my way, Mom! Now maybe you see why you ought to keep my skin protected with Johnson's Baby Oil and Johnson's Baby Powder!

 

MOM:  Write your own ticket, lamb! But tell me now, why do you need both?

 

BABY:  A cinch, Mommie. Pure, gentle Johnson's Baby Oil to smooth me over after my bath. And more of the same at diaper changes, to help prevent what my doctor calls "urine irritation". Other times, Mom, lots of soft, soothing sprinkles of Johnson's Baby Powder, to chase chafes and prickles and keep me purring!

 

MOM:  Angel, I've been an awful flat tire about this! Just step on the gas and let's be on our way to the nearest headquarters for Johnson's!

 

1947

 

 

 

"THE MAN WHO GETS ME WILL BE LUCKY!"

 

"Mother says some women spend so much time on a house they don't have time to live in it.

 

"So she's teaching me a few easy house-keeping tricks - early!

 

"Like this quick shine-up stunt with O-Cedar All Purpose Polish.

 

"Did you know that just a few drops on a cloth will clean and polish and protect your furniture against drying out? All at the same time?

 

"And you don't have to keep at it either. One good O-Cedar polishing lasts for weeks and weeks.

 

"Between times I use mother's speed dusting trick. A few drops of O-Cedar Polish on a clean cloth will pick up dust, and shine up a table top - quicker than you can say O-Cedar!

 

"Yep! The man who gets me will be luck! But no luckier than lots of husbands are now. Because Mother says more wives use O-Cedar All-Purpose Polish than any other brand!"

 

1947

 

 

 

 

 

 

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